ChangeAgent’s blog

I went to church today.  I attend an AME church in suburban Chicago.  Our church is having an annex built and the land adjacent to our current church building was recently prepared for heavy duty construction.  Apparently, someone in the neighborhood made a comment about how the church was able to afford the addition.  They asked whether a member of the congregation recently won the lottery!!!

You see that.  Black people can't be successful, praise the Lord and donate their time and hard earned money to a just cause.  If we belong to a church that has the financial means to expand, improve our abilities to worship and give the surrounding communities something to be proud of...one of us must have won the lottery.  There's no way we could have come up with the money by hard work (please tell me that you can sense my sarcasm).

That's a sad statement.  And no...no one won the lottery!  That should go without saying.

Ralph Nader has done it again.  What the heck does "talking black" mean?  I really don't know.  He makes it seem like a bad thing though.  Why have I never heard of a white person describing their speech as "talking white?"  Would that be a good or bad thing?  In my June 25th post, you'll see that Nader accused Obama of "talking white."  So it seems that Nader can flip flop himself :) 

I mention this to support my claims in my June 24th blog.  Check it out!

Ralph Nader at UGA, criticizes Obama's corporate ties

By JIM GALLOWAY
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Published on: 07/25/08

Athens — Three-time presidential candidate Ralph Nader continued to attack rival Barack Obama on Friday for "talking white," and called him a "corporate Democrat" who has surrendered his principles.

I'm used to being other people.  I mean...I either get strangers that come up to me thinking that I'm someone else or I get acquaintances telling me that I remind them of someone else.  It's amazing that I look like, sound like or act like so many other people.  What's the common denominator?  It's that the stranger/acquaintance is a white person thinking that I'm a different black person.  It happened again yesterday.

July 24th, 2008
Location:  O'Malleys Bar in Aurora, IL

Here's the story.....

I'm sitting at the bar, minding my business and drinking a beer.  Some guy comes up to me.  He pats me on the back and asks how I'm doing.  I say fine and he asks about my friend that is going through a divorce.  I tell him that he has the wrong person.  He looks me up and down...stares in my eyes and says..."no I don't.  You were here a few days ago with a friend of yours."  I tell him no I wasn't.  Get this, he disagrees and tells me that I was there.  I'm now chuckling with a "whatever" tone and tell him that he's wrong.  He then says, "I'm sorry...you look just like the guy that was here the other day" and proceeds to tell me the stupid story. 

I used to get really annoyed when this happened as it used to happen ALL of the time.  I would think that white people think that all black people look alike.  Then I moved to Atlanta.  After running into white people that do think black people look alike for 20+ years in Chicago, I moved to Atlanta.  I moved back to Chicago two years later.  After returning to Chicago, some stranger white guy told me that I reminded him of someone he knew.  It hit me that I didn't hear that ONCE in Atlanta...at all...not ONCE in two years!!  That's when I realized that it's not an idiot issue.  It's a question of familiarity.  White people in Atlanta are much more likely to know a lot of black people.  They either work with them, live with them, socialize with them or share the same neighborhood stores/malls.  That is the farthest from the case in Chicago.   I know.  I've lived in both cities!  Chicago people that disagree and haven't spent time in Atlanta do so out of ignorance.

My experience in Chicago is that the white people I know have 1-5 black friends and/or coworkers.  That's it!  This city is so segregated that they really don't know any black people.  That's why I remind them of someone else.  They only know two black guys and if I'm in the same age group and say something that is similar to what the other guy says...or even have a bald head like the other guy...hey hey; I remind them of him!!!  I hate that.  n all fairness, white people may be able to say the same about black people in Chicago as we're all somewhat segregated.  My hunch is that they don't say that because 1) they only know a few black people and 2) black people are surrounded by thousands of white people nearly any time we travel through out the Chicago area.  That's not the case for white people as they don't generally visit areas of the city or suburbs where whites are a minority.  Therefore, blacks are more exposed to white people and are less likely to confuse one for the other. 

Next time, I'll just play along and say that I am the other guy.  I'll run with the joke and mess with the guy's head.  I need to have fun at his expense.  It's the best way for me to avoid anger over an ignorant fool.

Black section at Simply Books_Charlotte Airport

July 7th
Simply Books at Charlotte, NC airport

I was in the Simply Books store in between flights and checking out books at a kiosk when I noticed something strange.  All of the authors were African American.  There wasn't a kiosk sign or title notifying me of this but it was perfectly clear.  I thought that this was strange as the rest of the store had designations on subjects like Business, Money, Travel, Sports, etc...  The "black" kiosk had books by Barack Obama, Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, Martin Luther King Jr. and others mixed in with sexy, trashy crap books that happened to be written by African Americans.  The subjects covered the gamet and there was no rhyme or reason other than the race of the authors.  Get this...Herschel Walker's book was in the Sports section.  I don't know why his book was considered different.  My opinion and it's just that...an opinion...is that as a sports figure he transcends race to many as he's perceived as an entertainer. 

I felt strange standing at this kiosk and noticing that white people were glancing at the books and immediately looking elsewhere.  Why couldn't these books be blended in with the others based on subjects?  This awkward feeling was felt at a mainstream store and I didn't like having the feeling in public.  Unfortunately, it's not unusual....just frustrating. 

Think that I'm too sensitive?  That may be.  My thought on that is for any white person reading this blog, to consider how you would feel if you went into any major bookstore and could only find white authors in a small kiosk that represented 5%-10% of the store's volume.  Would feel a little strange...huh?  Yep...I agree!

July 7th
Chili's Restaurant at Fort Lauderdale, FL airport

While eating breakfast, we noticed a young black male sitting at the table next to us.  He had shoulder length dreads and a fresh, new hat cocked to the side.  He was minding his own business enjoying his meal when a middle aged white woman walked by him and said "I have to tell you...you're just too cute!  And that's coming from a white woman."

Why does it matter if that comment comes from a white woman?  I've experienced similar situations and there is always an under tone that implies a white woman's opinion and/or attraction to a black man is some how more special than another's attraction.  I don't know what that lady meant but it sure seems like she wanted him to feel better to know that the complement came from a white woman.  Whether she meant it or not, it's a strange thing to say.  That guy just sat there and didn't say a word.  He looked dumbfounded. 

His reaction makes perfect sense to me.  What the heck are you supposed to say?  "Gee, thanks white woman.  I feel really good to know that a white person likes the way I look...that means more to me than anything else."  Stupid response, right?  Well, it fits the comment.

In yesterday's post, I made a reference to some people referring to me as the "Whitest" Black person that they know.  I explained the circumstances around those comments.  No more than 24 hours later, Ralph Nader said the following statements about Barack Obama. 

"There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader said. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn't want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We'll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards."

Asked to clarify whether he thought Obama does try to "talk white," Nader said: "Of course.

"I mean, first of all, the number one thing that a black American politician aspiring to the presidency should be is to candidly describe the plight of the poor, especially in the inner cities and the rural areas, and have a very detailed platform about how the poor is going to be defended by the law, is going to be protected by the law, and is going to be liberated by the law," Nader said. "Haven't heard a thing."

"He wants to show that he is not a threatening ... another politically threatening African-American politician," Nader said. "He wants to appeal to white guilt. You appeal to white guilt not by coming on as black is beautiful, black is powerful. Basically he's coming on as someone who is not going to threaten the white power structure, whether it's corporate or whether it's simply oligarchic. And they love it. Whites just eat it up."

Source:  SunTimes.com, June 25, 2008
http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/1024157,nader062508.article

Sigh...I know how you feel Barack...I know how you feel.  It's time to use Ebonics and act like a fool.  You can't have a wide array of knowledge and diverse thoughts.  You must be one dimensional at all times.  Otherwise, people might forget your Black heritage.  I know they forget mine from time to time :)

I've recently noticed that more and more White people are bashing Mexicans and aren't shy about doing it publicly.    It's as if we all agree with that point of view.  I must admit that this appears to be a suburban phenomenon as I don't recall hearing these comments when I lived in the city.  I'm thinking that City folk aren't stupid enough to air their prejudices in public as openly as suburbans due to the city's high diversity level.  I'm in the Aurora, IL area now and Aurora has a large Mexican population.  I've heard little comments from people ever since I moved to Aurora but there are two recent situations that are worth noting. 

1.  I visited the Naperville Lexus dealership with my wife about a month ago as her car needed repair.  The Lexus sales man engaged us in small talk while writing up the service order and told us about his recent dinner date with his girlfriend.  He complained about the high cost of valet parking at a restaurant in downtown Naperville.  His comment was "if I knew that I would pay that much, I would have just gone downtown Chicago and had a little Mexican park my car."  What is that???  I don't get it.  Is that what Mexicans do?  Are they all height challenged? 

2.  We recently adopted a Beagle/Pit Bull mix at the Aurora Animal Shelter under the guise of thinking that he was a Puggle.  We quickly found out that he had some Pit in him and he had some issues with our cat.  It was a tough decision but we couldn't keep him in our house anymore.  My wife just told me about some of her coworkers' complaints that an increasing amount of Mexicans are encroaching on their beautiful Plainfield neighborhood.  They claim that they (Mexicans) bring their gangs and Pit Bulls with them.  She overheard one of them mention that our dog was part Pit Bull because it was adopted in Aurora and you know how the Mexicans are with their Pit Bulls.  Damn!!!  We fell for the Mexican community's plan to secretly breed half Pit Bull dogs and have them infiltrate our household via an elaborate adoption scheme.

Ever since I was a kid, I've overheard White people say horrible racist jokes and comments.  I've wondered why they would tell me or even worse, tell me insulting Black jokes and think that we should all laugh.  I've had people tell me that I'm the "Whitest Black" person that they knew.  It was always clear that they did NOT think that when I was beating them in Basketball, getting into verbal altercations when I was younger or running faster than them.  Those comments only came when my intelligence was apparent, my grades were superior or my job was as impressive as theirs.  I now realize that some White people (usually barely known acquaintances) consider me part of their little social circle and are willing to drop insensitive racial comments with the expectation of my agreement.  I immediately realize that these people would be willing to say negative things about me as soon as they are around another "acceptable" minority person.   I discount them as sad people and try to disengage as quickly as possible.

Maybe I missed the memo that said that I had to dislike Mexicans.  Oh well, on to the next pathetic moment to write about....

Location:  Tommy Nevin's Pub
Naperville, IL
June 20, 2008

I'm at a bar watching a Cubs vs. Sox game and enjoying a beer.  Two White guys are next to me.  Derrick Lee is up to bat and one guy says that he likes Derrick Lee because he's "clean cut."  The other guy responds by saying "actually, he's articulate too." 

I don't disagree that Derrick Lee is articulate.  I wouldn't say that he's more articulate than most MLB baseball players.  My issue is that it's all too common for well spoken Black people to be described as articulate when the same is not said about their White counterparts.  Is Ryan Theriot articulate?  How about Ted Lilly, Matt Murton or Mark DeRosa?  What about Nick Swisher, Joe Crede, AJ Pierzynski, John Danks, Matt Thornton and Brian Anderson?  They are all players that were in the game today and I'm willing to bet that the gentlemen next to me would not have described them as articulate.  They had many chances to do that and I didn't hear them say that.  That leads me to believe that either Derrick Lee is amazingly more articulate than the average person or that they hold Derrick Lee to a lower standard than the others named above.  I can't figure out why that would be...other than the fact that Derrick is a Black male and we're supposed to speak in Ebonics all day long. 

Here's the funny thing - most of the guys above have no facial hair (Crede & Swisher do).  Derrick has a full beard.  So why is he considered "clean cut?"  What does that mean?  I need to know because I don't have facial hair right now.  If someone is more "clean cut" than me, I need to know how they're pulling that off.  I hope that they weren't referring to his off field activities.  I mean, Derrick is a married man with a strong family and a good role model for children.  I thought that was the bar that every man is to live up to.  Once again, I don't see why it's necessary to say one thing about Derrick and not others unless there is a hint of surprise.  A Black man that is a good family man and professional...wow..that's quite shocking.  A White guy who does the same....no need to comment because we're all like that.

Joe Biden got in trouble last year by calling Barack Obama "clean."  I picked up on that immediately and today is one example of why.   I hear this stuff all of the time.  I just shut my mouth and continue on with my day but it can get to me sometimes.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/31/biden.obama/

I grew up in the Northwest suburbs of Chicago in a very nice neighborhood.  I have a great family and was able to participate in athletics, clubs, church groups and other nice activities.  As I grew older, I noticed that the difference between me and others started to become more apparent.  I am a Black male and grew up around mostly White friends, acquaintances and strangers.  It was tough growing up with the racism, prejudice and snide comments about Black people.  I have permanent memories that bother me when I spend time to think about them (ex. having 10-15 people jump on me at Kilmer elementary school in Buffalo Grove screaming "Nigger pile")...which is rarely.  I've since lived in the northwest Chicago suburbs, north side of Chicago, east side of Atlanta, south side of Chicago and west Chicago suburbs.  I've met some of the best people and experienced different cultures.  I have some amazing friends for life that are White and many other White coworkers/acquaintances that are great people.  I've been blessed in life....that's for sure!

I've always struggled to explain how often I feel out of place and frustrated as many times I get hit with questions like "exactly when and how did so and so happen?"  It's not easy remembering every time.  I equate it to asking you to tell me the last time that you had to wear a pair of every day gym shoes.  It's hard to do if you wear them every other day and you change shoes multiple times a day.  That's how often I hear or see something that is negative towards Black people.  Some things are blatant and some things are perception based on previous experiences.  I know that it's not all an exact science.  I know one thing though.  I'm tired of hearing denials from people based on the stupid excuse "I can't believe that...besides, it's the year XXXX!"  People told me that our society is so much better because it's 1990.  Then I was told that racism was a thing of the past because...it's 1995.  Now the basis of me being wrong is that it's 2008 and they can't believe what I'm saying.  I'm sure that I'll hear that dumb rationale for the next 10-20 years.  I don't know how to respond to that.  I decided a long time ago to not even try however, documenting my experiences is one way that I can easily recall examples of what doesn't happen anymore :)

I'm starting this Blog to document experiences with racism and prejudice to help explain to my friends.  I figure that if I can keep an accurate tally of events, the details and consistency will surprise some people.  I don't intend to cause anger.  I don't intend to act as an expert.  I'm only documenting my experiences and reasons for my thoughts.  Let's see how this little experiment goes....